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Fag Drawl

and when your best friend dies of an over dose it's not the best look to get high in the bathroom at his cousin's house while his wife is walking around with their new kids and playing he's gone on an acoustic while handing out printed lyrics for everyone to sing

along while his mom stands there and looks at me like what the fuck is wrong with these children, singing like a hippie smiling for the friendship photo i was never invited to be a

part of good golly miss dolly, honestly, i'm still waiting for the big reveal when everybody

who is supposedly dead shows up again and it was all a big trick on me for believing in

anything at all because the way every person acts is more than odd more than off key and

lower than a downshifted truck bed full of blood from a dead buck shot turkey leg swang

hanging from the rear view mirror i touched a dead dears eyeball one time and it blinked

at me and i said more concupiscent than thy more cognizscent of the idlewild's lingering

incense smoked through the indian pipe my dad brought home listening to the old folks

creep show lift coffin lids of corpses lost innocence when doyle hung himself from his deck

i went to the funeral and felt almost nothing because i didnt understand a goddamn thing

but i know i walked around thinking why is everybody still talking and when erik jumped off

the tappenzee bridge i cried when i first found out and scrounged for any remaining evidence of his existence and when i saw his girlfriend at his house with his family i lost it

no matter what you think it is death isnt and no matter how much you thought you knew I

known this, even if, by some trick, it's all a joke on me, and somehow everybody knew just

how to act exactly in the wrong way when it comes down to really being somebody worth

knowin', i'd say, i wouldn't change a goddamn thing about the way i've always been and

about who i decided to become, looking down from the heavens upon ignorant mortal flesh

walking aimlessly to feed the incinerary of self indulgent conversing masturbating furiously

into the open air lobby like its a hobby like its a horse of a different colour than I like its hung

from a rope bred noose led donkey kick by the pond like harlan fell from two flights up in

burlington on purpose to break his arm in the lava like when i thought i was dosed then after

drinking immensities and bleeding into the darkness and i asked emily to hold my hand, yea

i could have died then at the mindset after the party we had i would have been fine with it like how we were stoked on the high stakes of finding the pleasure principle on vinyl og pressed like the breakfastes we had like in high school when we could still smoke in the diner before it went car salesman like all things could be opposite and i'd still climb it higher than

i ain't trying when wings somehow in every state we went in tasted better but none so good as the one's in God's Garden, and none better than down street i could walk it if i had to but

the streets aint safe i swear to god if aaron's actually dead, and to anyone reading this, if you're offended just by my asking, i'm still half insane i couldn't keep two sign languaged hands from sig heiling and i couldnt read a brighter brail lit fairy dance in the honey hive with CIA guys doing impossible things to open door in the carpet letting the sand fall in the eagle's nest the suicide in my best dressed vest jumping off the ledge into a completely black abyss and I've never got that one image out of my mind when i was at the blown out bridge before we went to ride our scooters off it into the stream someone told us there might be sharp metal objects projecting out of the river bed from the broken concrete waiting to be fixed and we said well we will take our chances and anyway when old one eye and i jumped in that river butt naked goddamn it we held hands and i balanced beamed the mean street only hobo's know hi nice to meet you my fucking name is twinkle toes.

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